I'll do my best to post a quick recap every week of what I did, what happened, my thoughts, feelings etc. It'll be fairly short right now as not much is going on but as the school year progresses these should become even more interesting. :)
And please pardon the abbreviations and improper grammar.
Saturday - found Temple Bar Food Market (aka farmer's market), was in heaven despite massive throngs of people who can't say "pardon" or "sorry" or "excuse me". Bought trashy chic novel (read all week, cried every night), went to Meetup.com coffee chat, met nice people but weirdos too. Went home, ate chocolate and watched Dexter.
Sunday - watched too many epis of Dexter, eat 2 choc bars after phone call with sister, feel so sad and miss family so much = loads of chocolate.
Monday - not much going on...went to the fruit store (fruit & veg place about 20 min away) and bought some apples. Watched lots of TV - so dull.
Tuesday - was fortunate enough to receive a small loan from my former boss...had enough $$ for rent of course but barely any for food and none for going out. lifted my spirits in a BIG way.
Wednesday - saw cousin and other cousin (and her family), spent a few hours in Dublin with cousin and cousin's friend (who has also lived in Boulder!). Was so lovely to discover am not only one who thinks washing machine and ovens are completely stupid here. Images on said appliances must have been created by fluent Sanskrit linguist as make no sense to average person.
Thursday - walked to UCD. Discovered takes 25 min to get to my side of campus, am not pleased. Dropped off original transcripts, worried girl will f**k up and file them improperly (didn't seem overly bright), tried to find International advisor but couldn't, couldn't find Women's Studies offices either, left feeling dismayed. Ate loads of chocolate and watched epis of Buffy and Dexter.
Friday - tried to mail letter, Post office not open even though during normal biz hours (typical Irish), bought more chocolate at Lidl, paid Sept rent and told roommate am moving out at EOM to live nearer the city, feel guilty so eat more chocolate.
Stay tuned for more kids! Love you.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Me first
So today I made the big decision to move...again. I've decided this house just isn't right for me: the location is somewhat inconvenient (25 min bus to the city, 25 min walk to my classes), the house is old, cold and dirty (clearly college kids have lived here for years and have not cared about the upkeep - my Venusian side is disgusted and my Saturnian influence is incensed) and there are spiders as big as my hand all over!
Okay that last bit wasn't a deal-breaker but the first two really bother me. When I lived in Boulder I lived in 3 places: one house and 2 condos. The house was not clean (again no one cared about it) but the condos were very nice. This house is not.
And I could live with that IF it were close to the city centre. It is not. Nor is it close to campus. So it's inconvenient for both my academic and my social life.
Anyway enough complaining and enough bitching is what I told myself. Do something to change that! So I tried cleaning, I tried picking up the useless junk laying around and tried enjoying the garden (it's really a yard but all yards are called gardens here). None of that helped. In fact it made things worse.
So even though I felt I was going back on my word and I was going to disappoint my one roommate (the other 3 haven't moved in yet or are gone for the summer) I decided to move out.
I haven't signed a lease so I gave him a month's notice. I could tell he was upset and disappointed; I do feel guilty for that but his temporary feelings will rebound. My spirit and my heart deserve to be acknowledged and honored: they said get yourself a new place to live! So I am. :)
The one very valuable lesson I have learned from this? Listen to yourself - above all others - listen to yourself. Your heart is telling you what you need to know so just shut up and listen.
Hopefully it'll work out for me. ;) I think it will!
Okay that last bit wasn't a deal-breaker but the first two really bother me. When I lived in Boulder I lived in 3 places: one house and 2 condos. The house was not clean (again no one cared about it) but the condos were very nice. This house is not.
And I could live with that IF it were close to the city centre. It is not. Nor is it close to campus. So it's inconvenient for both my academic and my social life.
Anyway enough complaining and enough bitching is what I told myself. Do something to change that! So I tried cleaning, I tried picking up the useless junk laying around and tried enjoying the garden (it's really a yard but all yards are called gardens here). None of that helped. In fact it made things worse.
So even though I felt I was going back on my word and I was going to disappoint my one roommate (the other 3 haven't moved in yet or are gone for the summer) I decided to move out.
I haven't signed a lease so I gave him a month's notice. I could tell he was upset and disappointed; I do feel guilty for that but his temporary feelings will rebound. My spirit and my heart deserve to be acknowledged and honored: they said get yourself a new place to live! So I am. :)
The one very valuable lesson I have learned from this? Listen to yourself - above all others - listen to yourself. Your heart is telling you what you need to know so just shut up and listen.
Hopefully it'll work out for me. ;) I think it will!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The emotional side of things
My last post I wrote about the physical experiences of "The Move" - traveling to and fro, getting lost several times a day (now it only happens about once a day or every other day) and eventually settling on a place to live.
Today I'll share the emotional experience of moving to Ireland.
It's been hard, difficult, challenging and exhausting on an emotional and physical level. And those adjectives don't fully describe the depth of my experiences but they'll have to suffice.
There is next to nothing familiar in my life right now. With the exception of some American television shows I am besieged with "newness" every moment of the day.
The markets and shopping centres are all new to me. The people are new to me. The accents are new to me. The language is new to me (there are phrases used in European English that are very different than US English). The city is new to me. The houses are new to me.
For some the newness would be exhilarating and exciting. It is on some level but on other levels I'm overwhelmed by it. I feel as though I'm swimming in a tremendous ocean with waves crashing down over me; I'm barely keeping my head above water.
But I am keeping my head above water and that's what matters. I am managing even if I am not yet thriving. I've been in Ireland for all of 15 days and I've done well.
Even if I feel lonely, tired, cranky and frustrated for most of the day I can still remember that I have come this far and so I will continue on. I will persevere, I will explore, I will make new friends and I will succeed.
I have only managed to get this far with guidance and protection from the Universe. So even though I'm worried about money running out before my loans are processed I trust I will be okay. I trust I will make friends, enjoy the city and become a successful ex-pat in this beautiful country.
And the process of doing all of those things is embracing the loneliness, the sadness and the grief. I must let my heart miss my dear friends in Boulder, my family in Wisconsin and my life back in the US.
Things are different now and on some level so I am. But I still carry with me all the love, joy, blessings and goodness bestowed on me from my Boulder life.
For now I am content to ride the waves and embrace ALL emotions I feel.
And one thing I have learned is life is not about experiencing joy all the time. It is about knowing there is a time for sadness as well as a time for happiness. There is a time for discontent as well as a time for peace. There is love and there is light but there is also pain and darkness.
And until we each embrace both sides of every experience we cannot become fully human. It is only in our darkest moments that space inside of us opens to allow in more light.
If you don't feel grief how can your tears wash away sadness? If that sadness isn't washed away how can your heart fully express Universal Love and Ecstasy? It cannot.
Your heart is still covered in tears so let the tears fall, let them cleanse and release you. On the other side there is even greater joy than you can ever have imagined.
I am beginning to live this philosophy and it has made all the difference. Life becomes more elegantly lived - life becomes an ocean wave.
So embrace the waves my friends and in it you will find all life has to offer.
Today I'll share the emotional experience of moving to Ireland.
It's been hard, difficult, challenging and exhausting on an emotional and physical level. And those adjectives don't fully describe the depth of my experiences but they'll have to suffice.
There is next to nothing familiar in my life right now. With the exception of some American television shows I am besieged with "newness" every moment of the day.
The markets and shopping centres are all new to me. The people are new to me. The accents are new to me. The language is new to me (there are phrases used in European English that are very different than US English). The city is new to me. The houses are new to me.
For some the newness would be exhilarating and exciting. It is on some level but on other levels I'm overwhelmed by it. I feel as though I'm swimming in a tremendous ocean with waves crashing down over me; I'm barely keeping my head above water.
But I am keeping my head above water and that's what matters. I am managing even if I am not yet thriving. I've been in Ireland for all of 15 days and I've done well.
Even if I feel lonely, tired, cranky and frustrated for most of the day I can still remember that I have come this far and so I will continue on. I will persevere, I will explore, I will make new friends and I will succeed.
I have only managed to get this far with guidance and protection from the Universe. So even though I'm worried about money running out before my loans are processed I trust I will be okay. I trust I will make friends, enjoy the city and become a successful ex-pat in this beautiful country.
And the process of doing all of those things is embracing the loneliness, the sadness and the grief. I must let my heart miss my dear friends in Boulder, my family in Wisconsin and my life back in the US.
Things are different now and on some level so I am. But I still carry with me all the love, joy, blessings and goodness bestowed on me from my Boulder life.
For now I am content to ride the waves and embrace ALL emotions I feel.
And one thing I have learned is life is not about experiencing joy all the time. It is about knowing there is a time for sadness as well as a time for happiness. There is a time for discontent as well as a time for peace. There is love and there is light but there is also pain and darkness.
And until we each embrace both sides of every experience we cannot become fully human. It is only in our darkest moments that space inside of us opens to allow in more light.
If you don't feel grief how can your tears wash away sadness? If that sadness isn't washed away how can your heart fully express Universal Love and Ecstasy? It cannot.
Your heart is still covered in tears so let the tears fall, let them cleanse and release you. On the other side there is even greater joy than you can ever have imagined.
I am beginning to live this philosophy and it has made all the difference. Life becomes more elegantly lived - life becomes an ocean wave.
So embrace the waves my friends and in it you will find all life has to offer.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The first few days
Well I've been in Ireland for 9 days and they have been a whirlwind of activity, people, experiences and emotions. I hope I can capture everything in these posts.
I arrived on Friday August 5th after a long flight with no sleep in an uncomfortable seat. One day I will fly first class and have a reclining chair with a foot rest. I can't seem to sleep if my feet aren't elevated - weird but true.
The next few days I spent with my friend's friends. They took me to look at the UCD campus where I will be attending class; we drove through neighborhoods around the school and then went to Howth, a city by the sea. We walked along the beach, watched sea lions and ate tapas.
They were kind enough to let share their home and their food with me. To repay them I agreed to watch their cats while they are away for a week. But to give them some peace and quiet before their trip I went to the Aran Islands for 3 days.
And that is when I remembered my love of Ireland! Despite being on a cramped, smelly bus for 4 hours I marveled at the green countryside, the rolling hills and the stone walls. To say it is beautiful is an understatement.
From there it only got better. After a short stay in Galway I hopped a bus to Rossaveal, the port where ferry boats scoot you to the islands. It was during this bumpy hour-long ride to the ferry that I remembered the golden rule of travel: don't drink a lot of water before getting on a bus!
After that problem was resolved I landed on Inish Moir, the largest of the 3 Aran Islands.
Again to say the Aran Islands are beautiful isn't doing them justice. They are quiet, peaceful, low-key and comforting. The rocky terrain dots the landscape along with goats and horses.
There are small churches, forts and majestic cliffs. It is a spectacular place.
I was fortunate enough to stay with my friend who runs a hostel on the island. We went on numerous hikes (even though all I brought were my walking boots), had some dinner at the pub, met some locals and generally had some laughs.
Staying at the hostel I met people from all around Europe and one from the US. It was good fun! (As soon as I have pictures I'll share them).
After 3 days I took the same route back - ferry to Rossaveal, bus to Galway and another bus to Dublin. It took roughly 6.5 hours total which means I was exhausted when I got back to the city. But I felt thoroughly refreshed so it was worth it!
That night I met up with my friend's friend. He moved from Boulder to Dublin about a year ago; it was terrific to chat with someone from home!
Eventually I made my way back to Rathgar (where I'm staying) and got down to the business of finding a long-term living situation. Here it is called "letting" instead of renting. And so began my exhausting process of setting up viewings, getting directions, getting lost, refinding myself (often getting lost a second time) and then finally finding the place.
Fortunately I only had to view about 6 places before I found The One. It's in Goatstown, a southern part of Dublin city and is very close to my campus (20 min walk).
It's also a 20 min walk to the biggest shopping centre in Dublin. Now I'm not big on malls (or as they call them here shopping centres) but the ones here are smaller than most US malls. Plus they typically have a butcher shop, a fishmonger, a fruit/veggie grocer and supermarkets in these centres. So I am within walking distance of all of these shops, a few pubs and school. It is ideally located.
The drawback is that it is a college-type house which means it isn't especially nice and it's not well-decorated. But I am hoping to make it a bit nicer and put my own touches on it. :)
Plus there is a garden in the back - an actual garden! Here they call all yards "gardens" so even if it's a concrete slab it's still called a garden.
And my room is good-sized with a double bed, a wardrobe and a desk.
Now I must tend to the details of the deposit, rent, moving in and getting ready for school. Plus getting a phone, a bank account and any necessary household items I need.
So things are underway and moving along despite almost a full week was a near daily struggle to keep myself together, find my way around and not feel completely adrift.
There have only been a few mishaps: I've locked myself out of my friends' house, was bitten by some unknown ugly bug, sliced the top of my finger on a razor in my suitcase and now have a swollen, blocked tear duct in my left eye. I may have to go to the doctor for that one and I haven't a clue on how to do so.
But I have asked my friend for help and am learning to reach out. It's a necessary part of life and it helps me to not feel so isolated. It's coming together and I am finding my legs in the city.
I arrived on Friday August 5th after a long flight with no sleep in an uncomfortable seat. One day I will fly first class and have a reclining chair with a foot rest. I can't seem to sleep if my feet aren't elevated - weird but true.
The next few days I spent with my friend's friends. They took me to look at the UCD campus where I will be attending class; we drove through neighborhoods around the school and then went to Howth, a city by the sea. We walked along the beach, watched sea lions and ate tapas.
They were kind enough to let share their home and their food with me. To repay them I agreed to watch their cats while they are away for a week. But to give them some peace and quiet before their trip I went to the Aran Islands for 3 days.
And that is when I remembered my love of Ireland! Despite being on a cramped, smelly bus for 4 hours I marveled at the green countryside, the rolling hills and the stone walls. To say it is beautiful is an understatement.
From there it only got better. After a short stay in Galway I hopped a bus to Rossaveal, the port where ferry boats scoot you to the islands. It was during this bumpy hour-long ride to the ferry that I remembered the golden rule of travel: don't drink a lot of water before getting on a bus!
After that problem was resolved I landed on Inish Moir, the largest of the 3 Aran Islands.
Again to say the Aran Islands are beautiful isn't doing them justice. They are quiet, peaceful, low-key and comforting. The rocky terrain dots the landscape along with goats and horses.
There are small churches, forts and majestic cliffs. It is a spectacular place.
I was fortunate enough to stay with my friend who runs a hostel on the island. We went on numerous hikes (even though all I brought were my walking boots), had some dinner at the pub, met some locals and generally had some laughs.
Staying at the hostel I met people from all around Europe and one from the US. It was good fun! (As soon as I have pictures I'll share them).
After 3 days I took the same route back - ferry to Rossaveal, bus to Galway and another bus to Dublin. It took roughly 6.5 hours total which means I was exhausted when I got back to the city. But I felt thoroughly refreshed so it was worth it!
That night I met up with my friend's friend. He moved from Boulder to Dublin about a year ago; it was terrific to chat with someone from home!
Eventually I made my way back to Rathgar (where I'm staying) and got down to the business of finding a long-term living situation. Here it is called "letting" instead of renting. And so began my exhausting process of setting up viewings, getting directions, getting lost, refinding myself (often getting lost a second time) and then finally finding the place.
Fortunately I only had to view about 6 places before I found The One. It's in Goatstown, a southern part of Dublin city and is very close to my campus (20 min walk).
It's also a 20 min walk to the biggest shopping centre in Dublin. Now I'm not big on malls (or as they call them here shopping centres) but the ones here are smaller than most US malls. Plus they typically have a butcher shop, a fishmonger, a fruit/veggie grocer and supermarkets in these centres. So I am within walking distance of all of these shops, a few pubs and school. It is ideally located.
The drawback is that it is a college-type house which means it isn't especially nice and it's not well-decorated. But I am hoping to make it a bit nicer and put my own touches on it. :)
Plus there is a garden in the back - an actual garden! Here they call all yards "gardens" so even if it's a concrete slab it's still called a garden.
And my room is good-sized with a double bed, a wardrobe and a desk.
Now I must tend to the details of the deposit, rent, moving in and getting ready for school. Plus getting a phone, a bank account and any necessary household items I need.
So things are underway and moving along despite almost a full week was a near daily struggle to keep myself together, find my way around and not feel completely adrift.
There have only been a few mishaps: I've locked myself out of my friends' house, was bitten by some unknown ugly bug, sliced the top of my finger on a razor in my suitcase and now have a swollen, blocked tear duct in my left eye. I may have to go to the doctor for that one and I haven't a clue on how to do so.
But I have asked my friend for help and am learning to reach out. It's a necessary part of life and it helps me to not feel so isolated. It's coming together and I am finding my legs in the city.
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