The emotional side of things

My last post I wrote about the physical experiences of "The Move" - traveling to and fro, getting lost several times a day (now it only happens about once a day or every other day) and eventually settling on a place to live.

Today I'll share the emotional experience of moving to Ireland.

It's been hard, difficult, challenging and exhausting on an emotional and physical level. And those adjectives don't fully describe the depth of my experiences but they'll have to suffice.

There is next to nothing familiar in my life right now. With the exception of some American television shows I am besieged with "newness" every moment of the day.

The markets and shopping centres are all new to me. The people are new to me. The accents are new to me. The language is new to me (there are phrases used in European English that are very different than US English). The city is new to me. The houses are new to me.

For some the newness would be exhilarating and exciting. It is on some level but on other levels I'm overwhelmed by it. I feel as though I'm swimming in a tremendous ocean with waves crashing down over me; I'm barely keeping my head above water.

But I am keeping my head above water and that's what matters. I am managing even if I am not yet thriving. I've been in Ireland for all of 15 days and I've done well.

Even if I feel lonely, tired, cranky and frustrated for most of the day I can still remember that I have come this far and so I will continue on. I will persevere, I will explore, I will make new friends and I will succeed.

I have only managed to get this far with guidance and protection from the Universe. So even though I'm worried about money running out before my loans are processed I trust I will be okay. I trust I will make friends, enjoy the city and become a successful ex-pat in this beautiful country.

And the process of doing all of those things is embracing the loneliness, the sadness and the grief. I must let my heart miss my dear friends in Boulder, my family in Wisconsin and my life back in the US.

Things are different now and on some level so I am. But I still carry with me all the love, joy, blessings and goodness bestowed on me from my Boulder life.

For now I am content to ride the waves and embrace ALL emotions I feel.

And one thing I have learned is life is not about experiencing joy all the time. It is about knowing there is a time for sadness as well as a time for happiness. There is a time for discontent as well as a time for peace. There is love and there is light but there is also pain and darkness.

And until we each embrace both sides of every experience we cannot become fully human. It is only in our darkest moments that space inside of us opens to allow in more light.

If you don't feel grief how can your tears wash away sadness? If that sadness isn't washed away how can your heart fully express Universal Love and Ecstasy? It cannot.

Your heart is still covered in tears so let the tears fall, let them cleanse and release you. On the other side there is even greater joy than you can ever have imagined.

I am beginning to live this philosophy and it has made all the difference. Life becomes more elegantly lived - life becomes an ocean wave.

So embrace the waves my friends and in it you will find all life has to offer.