7 Weeks In

So I've been here for nearly 7 weeks now (feels like 7 months in many ways) and have to say I am enjoying nearly all aspects of my life. I love my classes, I love my neighbourhood but I hate my neighbor (he is a loud, inconsiderate ass) and I generally love all the areas of my life.

I'm even dating someone. I think it may a full-fledged relationship at this point which is something I haven't had in years - make that a decade. I've dated plenty but nothing has lasted longer than a few months in those 10 years. I think I'm due!

Even though all is going well I still have moments of sadness and homesickness. In fact it often happens when everything is going super great. Wonderful things happen and I want so much to share them with my closest friends and family...and then I remember how far away everyone is. I miss just texting a friend to tell them about the crazy experience I just had or the crazy person I just saw. And let me tell you there is plenty of crazy in Dublin. Ha! :)

Of course that grief is to be expected and I welcome it. It shows me how much love I have shared and how deep my feelings for everyone run. Missing people is bittersweet in that respect.

In time I'm sure my friendships here will be strong and will grow to a similar intimate level of sharing. And that will be fine too. The key is to remember friends from every part of my life and keep them in my heart. To keep them dancing in my thoughts and hold them in a warm embrace even if that embrace is only in my meditation.

Til then I'll let love shine through as often as I can and embrace all parts of my life from the wretched morning I'm having at the Immigration offices to the wonderful laughter of new friends and the warm memories of old friends.

And one more thing...

I met a boy. :) He was at a social gathering I went to on Saturday and we hit it off. We exchanged phone numbers and we went out later that night.

Apparently dating in Ireland is a bit different: you sort of hang out a few times and you are together. You generally don't date anyone else, people become exclusively relatively quickly but without a lot of pretense. So after 5 weeks here I think I may have myself a boyfriend.

He seems pretty terrific but I suppose time will tell won't it?! Ah life, what a crazy ride it is.

Ch ch changes!

My oh my what a time it has been! Since my last post I have moved, twice. I moved into a shared room and quickly moved out the next day. The landlord of the place I was supposed to move into (the one I mentioned in my last entry) rented BOTH of the locations he had showed me.

Naturally he didn't tell me any of this until 6pm on the night I was moving out. He didn't give me any other options but to move into a shared room. I called a few B&Bs but people either didn't pick up the phone or had a full house for the weekend.

So after listening to him berate me for not wanting to live in a shared bedroom I finally agreed to go there for a week. He was an absolute ass about the whole thing.

In fact when he picked me up to take me to the new place he made a comment about how my theory on what I wanted in a living situation was a lot like my pants: it had a hole in it.

I just kept my mouth shut and tolerated him because I didn't have many other options.

So when I arrived at the house I discovered the room was shared with not just one person but THREE. Three people in a bedroom. Mind you it was a good-sized room but still. And he knew it but didn't feel it was necessary to share that information with me. What a fuckin' wanker.

Eventually I settled in for the night (after the wanker landlord made me go to the movies with him...happily he paid for everything but it was a stupid movie, "Dinner with the Schmucks") and tried to go to sleep.

The three German kids living in the room went out as it was a Sat night. They came home around 2am, after I just started to fall asleep.

They were kind enough to be quiet while they got ready for bed but I still woke up. And worst of all? When they did go to sleep one of them snored. At least one of them, it may have been two.

Needless to say I didn't fall asleep til 6am when I turned on my iTunes and used my earphones to drown out the snoring with gentle classical music.

I decided I couldn't handle this and I was moving out the next day; I need my sleep. So after looking at temporary accommodations on Daft, I got out of bed to get ready for the day.

And lo and behold there was a couple sleeping nude in the other bed. Well by sleeping I mean they were in bed together.

Then I was just angry. I wasn't angry at the couple so much as the landlord. He knew there were multiple people in that room but he didn't think it was important to tell me. OR he knew I'd throw a fit and decided to avoid having that conversation with me.

So that sealed the deal for me. I lined up a B&B to stay at from Wednesday onward and my friends were kind enough to take me in from Sunday til Wednesday morning.

And now I'm still at the B&B! It's a lovely little place in Drumcondra with a sweet owner who has taken good care of me. She has taken me in until Friday and then I must find a home!

Since moving in here I have sorted my loan situation, gotten my deposit and rent money back from Goatstown, registered for classes and am beginning classes today.

Although I haven't found a long-term home yet I am on the hunt. I have viewed nearly a dozen apartments/homes/etc. None have been just right - some are in areas I didn't like, others are too small with no space for studying, other people have chosen to let to someone else and yet others have no bathtub, crummy kitchen, etc.

Generally any place I have vetoed has had a combination of things wrong with it. I'm not dismissing them all out of hand, they each have their merits but those merits haven't held up against their demerits.

So now I'm off to class this afternoon and am seeing two places tonight. I am hopeful about each of these. They are in good locations, have multiple bathrooms, study areas/large bedrooms and the people living there seem friendly enough. Not everyone welcomes grad students, even students as old as I.

Wish me luck!

An absolute mess

Today I sit in my soon-to-be-old room with my bags packed (including my refrigerated M&S bag of cold foods) waiting for someone to pick me up and drive me to my temporary home.

That temporary home will most likely be an even shorter-term let then expected; the landlord has already let the place I was supposed to move into and now he is saying he probably has people lined up for the place I am going to today. So I may have a place to stay for a night, maybe two if I'm lucky.

After that? Who the fuck knows. (Yeah I dropped the F bomb, that's how pissed off I am.) I'm beyond frustrated. This has become one gigantic cosmic joke but no one has told me the punchline.

I have reached my limit. My tolerance and patience level is zero. I cannot handle any more stress. NONE. My body is constantly overwrought with stress and my mind can barely stop worrying for more than a few minutes. Meditation doesn't help, chocolate doesn't help, even sleep doesn't help because I have frightening dreams.

I am beginning to wonder if this was worth it. I wonder if I should have bothered with any of this.

My entire week was spent fretting over when my loan money would be available to me and when I could register for classes. I didn't know anything until Friday afternoon and the end date was announced: Monday September 13th. 9 days from now. 9 days!

I have been living on 2 paychecks since the first week of August. Those paychecks are gone and I have now had to charge my groceries on my American credit cards which means international usage fees...and MORE debt. I hate debt like this: it's stupid and pointless. Debt for a home = fine. Debt for school = fine. Credit card? Stupid.

But at least I have the option and will pay off much of the balance when my loans are available to me (loans can be used for travel and school-related expenses so I can pay off anything I've had to spend to get here).

And I can register for classes next week so that's a plus. Hopefully I'll have a place to shower then so I can go to class and not smell like a homeless person.

Clearly things are turning around albeit quite slowly. Maybe it's a bit like a snowball that's just started rolling downhill and is gaining momentum. Just a tiny bit more and it will pick up the speed necessary to be at full throttle.

Heaven above I hope so because I've had about all I can manage without eating an entire box of chocolate bars and several hours of Buffy reruns.